“And if they say, ‘I refuse to forgive you,’ then that becomes between the individual and God. I have gone to God, and I have asked God to forgive me, and God has, and I am asking you to forgive me.’ Where I’ve done wrong, I need to ask my child to forgive me, and I need to remove all the blocks and all the hindrances that I can by going to my child or my loved one and saying, ‘I did wrong, I failed you as a parent, I failed you in this way, I failed you morally,’ or whatever, and, ‘I am sorry and I am grieved about it, and I have not been the example. “Every individual is accountable for his own behavior. He lets our hearts break for our children who walk in rebellion and who may even turn and accuse us, so that in our hearts we better understand what it’s like for Him when His children rebel and then turn and accuse Him. ![]() In her 1997 book As Silver Refined, Arthur explains: Through study of Scripture and prayer, however, Arthur realized that her child was “not going to go to hell because I failed, because God is greater than all of that.” The recognition of God’s sovereignty, that He is in control of all the affairs of men, brought a measure of peace.Īrthur also was enlightened by the message of Philippians 3:10, understanding that a parent’s lament over a lost child is part of the fellowship of His sufferings. Arthur felt the sting of this guilt because for the first seven years of his life Tommy saw only an unregenerate, immoral mother. Throw guilt into the mix–especially since a child’s rebellion is often only a regurgitation of what he has witnessed in his parents–and the burden can sometimes seem to stifle the parent’s Christian walk. It is a natural reaction to want to share eternity with one’s child. Once a person is saved, many times his greatest residual desire is to see his offspring saved. Kay Arthur’s experience is emblematic of the prayerful plight of thousands of godly parents throughout the world. “So, first of all, you must realize that salvation is of God, and I’m very strong on that–to rest in that and to know that I cannot force my child or my loved one to believe in Jesus Christ.” When was Jesus born? In the fullness of time, God sent forth His Son,” she says. “And I think so many times with God we’re so impatient. There’s another Scripture that says that no man can come to the Father except the Father draw him. “When you look at that verse, you see that salvation is of God, and you see that even the timing is of God, and that it’s when God is pleased to reveal His Son in us. ![]() “One of the things that has helped me is in Galatians 1, when Paul says, ‘When it pleased God to reveal His Son in me,'” Arthur says. Now she reminds parents of prodigals to fulfill their duties to pray, discipline, and exhibit the life of Christ–and God alone must handle the rest. That was more than three decades after Arthur dedicated her life to Christ at age 29 and began talking to her son about Jesus. Tommy Arthur is a saint of God now, born again at the age of 38. Her son’s journey to Christ has become a potent part of Arthur’s renowned testimony, and it reminds frustrated parents everywhere of the power of prevailing prayer. “So just because your child is not perfect does not mean that you are always a failure as a parent.” ‘Am I a perfect Father?’ Yes,” Arthur says in an interview with In Touch. “I was just crying out to God, and I just felt like I’d failed so much, and God just said to me, ‘Are all my children perfect?’ No. And her own son–the one she had taken to church and Bible study for years–was lost. She was founder of Precepts Ministries, an author, and a national radio personality. Kay Arthur still remembers the precise spot on Highway 153 where the Lord spoke to her and released her from the guilt and frustration of feeling like a failure. ![]() No, he was right there, working under her own roof, helping feed the large staff of her popular ministry. She had pushed, hoped, and prayed for her prodigal son to come home. The godly woman had been driving so hard for so long.
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